Kick the habit

When all is said and done, and you have started eating well and gotten your act together with your emotions and why you should make certain food choices and you think you are right on track, as you have been in the past, it comes time to kick it. I mean, “kick the habit” once and for all. Easier said than done, so many reminders and triggers all around us, it's hard to do one thing without another and we end up having to give up everything. Here is an example, not food related but it’s the first thing that got me to start looking at kicking a bad habit and how hard that can actually be.
Many, many, years ago, about 40! Wow, how time flies. I used to smoke cigarettes! I have certainly come a long way. But anyway, I loved smoking cigarettes, I was good at it, a natural if I do say so myself. But, alas it was to be one of the first of many forms of addiction that I had, unbeknownst to me. And of course, many people smoked back then, it seemed more acceptable than in today’s age when you find groups of professionally dressed men and women huddled around each other puffing away for dear life. But, I knew that I needed to quit, I was teaching aerobics and was on my way to a healthier me and it so didn’t go over well while working at Elaine Powers. I would be in the back room smoking, with many of the other instructors I might add. I can't imagine what that gym smelled like. I digress. I was determined to quit, now mind you, this was my first attempt to stop doing anything difficult. I figured I had smoked for about 8 to 10 years, I started young, and it was time to put my grown-up pants on and just kick it! That’s that, what’s the biggy?
So, on New Year's Eve, of course, just after midnight, I quit. Done. Easy, except it was kind of silly wasn’t it, to stop at midnight when we had just started the party and I had still a ½ a pack of cigarettes, and of course I would stop but the morning seemed much more feasible. I would be done with the pack and I would wake to a brand new year! Well, if you have read my other e-zines you will recognize the fatal lies in this type of thinking. Of course, there are no tomorrows, not really. So, I did stop for a few hours and then since we were all away for a weekend I would then start when we were all back home, easier that way, then we got home on a Sunday so I would wait quit on a Monday! Of course, I would. So on Monday I still had part of the pack and was so silly to waste them that I would just finish off the pack and then quit. Well, it never really worked out, and before I knew it I stopped saying I was going to quit. Then one day the thought did pop into my head that this was the day, and as hard as it I would just grin and bear it.
Here is what happened, it turns out that there were tons of triggers that went along with my bad habit. First of all, I couldn’t drink coffee anymore, because it was impossible for me to have a cup of coffee without a cigarette, so then I had to stop eating bran muffins (you see, I was health conscious even then!) because I couldn’t have one without a cup of coffee and then without a cigarette. Then, I had to find a new place to eat breakfast because I would get up early to go to dinner to eat my bran muffin with a cup of coffee and a cigarette. Then, I discovered that I also had to give up reading the paper. I would read at the diner, well you know the rest. There were just so many triggers that I had no idea what I was getting myself into, not to mention going out with my friends that all smoked and since the drinking age back then was 18! Can you imagine!
Then it was basically impossible to go anywhere with anyone! Everyone smoked and when we hung out that is what we did. So, to say the least, it was a rough first year where I literally quit about 8 times. Finally, I did it. I thought that was it, I could go anywhere and I was no longer tempted, what also kept me at bay was the outrageous prices of a pack of cigarettes; it went up to $1.25 for a pack!! Who could afford that? So, an entire year goes by, an entire year!!! Then I met a guy, gorgeous guy, Greg. He was perfect in every way except he smoked, like everyone. Ugh, but I was strong and I didn’t break, except for one night, when I was being silly and said, “Let me have a puff, baby” and he handed me his cigarette and I took a puff and was relieved to see how awful it tasted, and I coughed. But then on another day my body, not my mind wanted another puff. It remembered something it used to like, so I had two puffs. Then it was three puffs, then a full one, and then….well, obviously I was a smoker again! After an entire year, I knew very well how impossible it was to stop smoking! After I knew how great I felt without smoking, and how proud I was of myself for having done it. I was smoking again, nearly a pack a day, again!! But we looked good smoking together! Another year, poof..gone, just like that.
So, Greg and I decided together that on New Year's Eve of that year, we would both stop, together. Funny huh, you would think I would have learned this by now. You of course know how that turned out, same story x two. The days and weeks after New Year's were the same as the one before. Except for one thing, one day when I was in the midst of lying to myself again, I caught myself for what it was. A lie. I didn’t realize it, I had been lying to myself all the time. It was like some light went on, liar, liar, pants on fire! So, on a Wednesday afternoon, at 1:23 PM with ¾ of a pack left and halfway through a cigarette and with my boyfriend still smoking my brand of cigarettes, no less, I quit. I put out that last one didn’t even take a final puff, tore up the rest of the pack, and threw it all away. I was done. I knew it would be hard, and I knew I would have triggers and I knew there would be temptations but I was tired of letting one year after another pass me by, and still, I was smoking and lying to myself that I was going to quit, if I wasn’t serious about it at that moment then I would never do it. There is no, “just one more” it's too hard to resist the things we are addicted to. Whether it be nicotine, sugar, caffeine, white carbs, or salt potato chips! There is no such thing as only “just one more” and then I will stop!
Just Kick It!