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The Cycle of Excuses - Avoidance of Life through the Lens of Yamas and Compassion



In life, many of us face a recurring pattern: a perpetual string of excuses, constant illness, or continuous problems that arise just as we approach important moments. These obstacles, though real in sensation, are often symbolic manifestations of our avoidance. In the context of the Hindu belief system and the teachings of the Yamas—ethical restraints in Raja Yoga—this cycle can be understood as an unconscious resistance to the flow of life itself.


A Spiritual Perspective

When someone is always sick or consistently encountering problems, it may seem as though the universe conspires against them. However, from a spiritual perspective, these repeated issues are often self-imposed barriers, reflecting a deeper avoidance of life’s challenges, responsibilities, or even the pursuit of one’s higher purpose.


Although difficult to recognize within ourselves and more easily recognizable within others, the place to reflect upon this is of course with the person we see in the mirror every morning.


In Hindu philosophy, life is seen as a series of lessons, opportunities for growth, and self-realization. Each obstacle is a reflection of an internal block—a fear of change, failure, or even success. The excuses and illnesses become a symbolic shield against fully engaging with life’s potential.


You have heard me speak on the Yamas in the past, I invite you to look at them again with this subtle difference in perspective.


The Yamas, the first limb of the Eightfold Path of Raja Yoga, offer a powerful ethical framework to break free from this cycle of avoidance. These five principles can guide us toward self-awareness, responsibility, and the courage to face life head-on:


1. Ahimsa (Non-violence): Excuses and self-sabotage can be forms of violence against oneself. Constantly being “too sick” or overwhelmed is a way of denying one’s own power and potential. Ahimsa encourages self-compassion, recognizing that by constantly making excuses, we are harming our own growth. Breaking the cycle begins with practicing kindness towards ourselves, and acknowledging our fears without letting them dictate our actions.


2. Satya (Truthfulness): Excuses often stem from not being fully truthful with ourselves. We may hide behind sickness or external problems to avoid admitting what we truly fear. Satya urges us to confront our inner truths and be honest about why we are avoiding certain aspects of life. Are we afraid of failing? Of change? By embracing truthfulness, we can begin to dismantle the false narratives we’ve built around our excuses.


3. Asteya (Non-stealing): When we avoid life through excuses, we are, in a way, stealing from ourselves. We rob ourselves of experiences, growth, and the opportunity to fulfill our purpose. Asteya teaches us to stop taking away from our own potential and to step into life with an open heart, ready to receive all that it offers.


4. Brahmacharya (Moderation). Often, our excuses come from a place of imbalance. Perhaps we overwork ourselves, leading to burnout, or we procrastinate to the point of stress. Brahmacharya reminds us of the importance of balance and moderation in all aspects of life. By creating a balanced routine and nurturing our mental, emotional, and physical health, we can prevent the burnout or overwhelm that often leads to avoidance.


5. Aparigraha (Non-attachment): The constant problems and illnesses we face can be a result of our attachment to comfort zones, routines, or identities. Aparigraha teaches us to let go of these attachments, allowing us to embrace change without fear. By releasing the need for control and accepting life as it comes, we can stop clinging to excuses and begin to move forward with ease.


The word Compassion is a powerful word and has helped me find answers to what would seem impossible situations, all we need to do is to be open to the possibility…..

Compassion, both for oneself and others, is essential in breaking the cycle of excuses. Often, we judge ourselves harshly for not being “enough,” which leads to more avoidance. However, healing begins with acceptance. It’s important to understand that our excuses and patterns of avoidance are rooted in fear and self-preservation. They are protective mechanisms that have helped us cope with past pain, trauma, or uncertainty.


To truly break free, we must practice self-compassion. Acknowledge the fears and insecurities that lead to avoidance, but gently encourage yourself to step into life despite them. By embracing yourself with kindness and understanding, you can create a safe space for growth and transformation.


Here are some Practical Steps to Break the Cycle

1. Awareness: Start by recognizing the excuses and patterns you create. Journaling can help you become aware of the recurring themes in your life—whether it’s always being sick before an important event or encountering “unavoidable” problems when you need to make a change.

   

2. Self-inquiry: Ask yourself what fears or beliefs are driving these excuses. Are you afraid of failure? Of success? Dig deep to uncover the root cause of your avoidance.


3. Mindfulness and Balance: Incorporate mindfulness into your daily routine. Practice balancing your work, rest, and personal growth. Avoid extremes that lead to burnout or complacency.


4. Commitment to Action: Once you’ve identified your fears and blocks, commit to small actions that challenge your avoidance. Even taking one small step towards a goal can begin to break the cycle of excuses.


5. Compassionate Accountability: Find a compassionate friend, mentor, or coach who can hold you accountable for your growth, but without judgment. Sometimes, we need external support to guide us through periods of resistance.


Embracing Life Fully - We say we do but do we?

The Hindu belief system teaches us that life is meant to be embraced, not avoided. Through the practice of the Yamas and cultivating compassion, we can break free from the cycles of excuses and illness that prevent us from living fully. By stepping into life with courage and honesty, we not only grow spiritually but also experience the richness and fulfillment that life has to offer.


In the end, the obstacles we face are not barriers, but opportunities for growth, waiting to be embraced with open arms.


Hari Om Tat Sat

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